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7.26
The best defense is a strong offense. And I intend to start offending right now!
The Captain isn’t implying that we should stop being polite or respectful. Nor is he suggesting we demonstrate how strong we are by picking fights with everyone.
He’s talking about our attitude toward life. He’s pointing out that many of us have an unfortunate tendency to build protective walls around what we’ve managed to gain—materially and spiritually; that we often become more concerned about keeping what we have than risking it on new gains; that our lives thereby become more like a defensive position than an expeditionary force.
The problem is, we can never live victoriously while in this “protective” mode. Nor can we rise to our potential if we simply react to whatever life sends our way. Instead, we must go out looking for experience, boldly exploring new territory, taking the risks required for growth.
We must also be willing to raise a few eyebrows in pursuit of our dreams and our life’s mission. Perhaps other people will be offended after all. But not because we’ve run roughshod over them. It’s because our courageous attitude forces them to wonder what they’re missing.
By living fully, we can show them. Right now.
It’s okay for me to be forthright in the pursuit of my spiritual goals. As I live exuberantly, even“offensively,” I give others permission to do the same.
7.27
Humor… I love it!
Most attempts to define humor eventually come down to this: Either you get it… or you don’t.
Not everyone is blessed with a sense of humor. Some species, Vulcans included, claim to be utterly unaffected.
Which is simply to say that emotions are as essential to humor as intelligence is. And while even Vulcans can “appreciate” irony and satire, most of us also have a visceral response when we “get it.” The usual result is that convulsive expulsion of breath known as “laughter.”
For emotional beings, how much we laugh is a remarkably accurate indicator of our current mental and emotional health. Because the circuits that process our perceptions of reality, that transmit the data required for thought and action, are the same circuits that allow us to feel humor. And if we don’t laugh—or we laugh at everything—chances are there’s trouble in the system.
Fortunately, the same method used to diagnose our “system” can also be used to treat it. Laughing has a certifiable cleansing affect, literally relaxing muscle tension, releasing repressed energy, restoring hormonal balance.
So find something to laugh at. Daily. It may take practice. When you find yourself not only laughing regularly, but at yourself, the system is probably working just fine.
I will make my daily dose of humor as important as meditating. I will create opportunities to laugh, even artificial ones, until my joy flows naturally.
7.28
There is something to be learned when you’re not in control of every situation.
Faith is as much about actions as attitude. But attitude is crucial; and one of the most crucial attitudes is trust.
We can think of “trust” as the assurance we feel that someone or something will act as expected. Trust means “allowing” another person (or object) to carry out his/her (or its) function without our having to be involved. Trust is about letting go, about not being in control.
In a sense, we’re not in control whenever we board a shuttlecraft or step into the transporter bay. Our lives are literally at risk, but we’ve learned to trust the pilot and the technology to take us where we want to go. Giving up control is the price we pay. It’s a choice we make.
Unfortunately we can’t always choose. Sometimes control is taken away from us, or maybe we never had it in the first place. And our lives may be no less at risk.
We can look at these situations as opportunities for learning: That we (and the world) will still survive, for example. Or that following has its own rewards, as does leading. Or that other people have wonderful talents if only we’ll step back and give them a chance to prove it.
We may even learn that there is another Pilot in whom we can trust, and a Technology that will take us where we want to go. Giving up control is a small price to pay.
I am in the care of a higher power. I will release my need to control, and trust in The Universe.
7.29
I can give you a long and boring analysis. Suffice it to say… I don’t know what’s going on!
Most of us are quite adept at making excuses. We can rationalize our lack of understanding and invent logical justifications for how little we know. We can even devise brilliant explanations that make our continuing ignorance seem like knowledge—what past generations referred to as “smokescreens” or “snowjobs.”
But a much better approach to not knowing something is simply to admit it. Because when we put our energies into making excuses, there’s little left for finding answers. When we try to justify why we don’t know or haven’t learned, we create a psychological predisposition for not knowing and not learning.
However, by fearlessly acknowledging that “we don’t know,” we open the door to solutions. Defending our ego is no longer an issue. Others come to our aid because it’s not a matter of “me” or “you” finding the answer, but us.
Captain Janeway wisely admitted whenever she had no answers. And she was no less a leader for it. In fact, leadership is rarely about having answers. It’s about the search for answers. It’s about inspiring others to join us on that search.
It’s about being on the search… together.
I am always ready to admit when I don’t know. Not knowing is the prelude to my growth.
7.30
Running may help for a little while, but sooner or later the pain catches up with you. And the only way to get rid of it is to stand your ground and face it.
— CAPTAIN SISKO. THE WAY OF THE WARRIOR, PART II. 49011.4
The wisdom of Sisko’s statement seems compelling enough. Even more so because he himself lived it.
And perhaps now is the time to point out that all the sayings and comments in this Manual have the ring of truth for the same reason. They aren’t merely theories, or some office-bound counselor’s idea of how things ought to be. Nor are they “revelations” from some ancient text. They are the fruits of experience. They have been lived.
Which is how Benjamin Sisko learned this lesson. He discovered first-hand that we can no more run away from the events that hurt us than a criminal can “run from the scene of the crime.” Because the scene that matters most is the one within us. Everything we do is recorded in our minds and in our hearts. Everything in our past remains present—as emotions and attitudes… as Who We Are.
Fortunately, when we stop running, that too is recorded. Taking a stand, facing the pain, finally dealing with the events in our lives also becomes Who We Are.
And we are stronger for it. Not in theory. Not just because that’s how it ought to be. But because we lived it.
No matter how painful the events in my life, I can live through them. The person I will become once I’ve faced my past is worth my present struggle.
7.31
The trial never ends.
In some cultures, this is the very definition of “hell”: To always be on trial; to continually be in the position of having to prove oneself. Or improve oneself.
Can’t we ever take a break from the struggle? Can’t we just be once in a while, without any expectations?
Yes. As a matter of fact, that’s part of the trial.
Because knowing when to stop is just as important as knowing when to keep going. Taking breaks to “process” our learning, to reward ourselves for our efforts, to simply relax, is as crucial as our day-to-day struggles.
Actually, as we go deeper into our Inner Voyage, the greatest temptation is to not take these necessary breaks. Ancient religions, which were often closer to the natural cycles of struggle and rest, instituted frequent feasts and celebrations for exactly that reason. One of Betazed’s early spiritual disciplines, going well beyond Terra’s “sabbath,” insisted its members take four days of rest for every five days of work or study. (Or face four days of confinement!)
The point is, what we are on trial for is our current level of spiritual development. That trial is as continuous and automatic as breathing. But without time to consolidate, to simply enjoy who we are now, we can easily be found guilty of losing what we thought we’d gained.
I will remember to sentence myself to rest and re-creation. My own testimony will help me judge when it’s time to continue my spiritual work.
8.01
Worlds may change, galaxies disintegrate; but a woman always remains a woman.
It’s reassuring to know that some things don’t change. The speed of light in a vacuum. Acceleration of mass due to gravity. The Trans-Warp Constant.
And our own personal constants. Like the soothing effect of a mountain stream. Or the reassuring resonance in the laughter of children at play. Or the fascination of soft backlight on a woman’s hair.
Whether these are scientific “laws” or genetically-programmed response mechanisms isn’t what matters. Like Captain Kirk’s unflagging appreciation for women, they are simply the things we can count on.
We need a core of such constants to keep us grounded. Part of the strategy for transforming our lives, in fact, is to claim the territory we’ve come to know—what works for us, what doesn’t; what generates certain feelings, and what doesn’t. And then to venture out from these “strongholds,” adding new constants, continually claiming new and higher ground, defining the things we can count on.
And if the galaxies around us start to disintegrate, we can always find refuge there. At least until the dust settles and we go boldly out again.
Over the next week, I will make a list of all the things I know well enough to call my “constants.” Each month I will review my list, and add to it.
The above meditations were taken from Going Boldly on Your Inner Voyage © 1999-2006, IF Books.
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